BIO Douchey Bio for Preston Prestoff

Discussion in 'Tales From Liberty Space!' started by BRAINOS, Mar 27, 2015.

  1. BRAINOS

    BRAINOS Well-Known Member

    NAME: PRESTOFF, Preston Cameron
    AGE: 24
    SEX: YES

    APPEARANCE:
    His pompadour is a brilliant, metallic blue color that bobs and weaves with his movements like a shadow-boxer perched atop his scalp, the very top of it scraping the border of 6'2". Without his hair, it'd be reasonable to expect him to stand at roughly 6'. His meticulously trimmed sideburns lead into a sharp, pointed jawline accented by fairly high cheekbones. His eyes are set deep in their sockets and have a look about them that expresses this man's textbook narcissism. His eyes are more often than not pointed at his own reflection and filled with admiration.

    His shoulders tend to slouch when he stands and sway when he walks, giving him a lazy, relaxed appearance. His lean build makes him appear slightly taller than he actually is.

    On the back of his neck, just below the collar and reaching between his shoulders, is a tattoo. Cursive script that reads "Make Romance, Not Robust."

    NOTABLE, EMPLOYABLE SKILLS:
    Prestoff has been noted to be fairly adept at managing the Supply department, which no doubt comes from his extensive experience aboard other NanoTrasen vessels and previous employment with Space Boy Racing Apparel as a Shipping and Receiving Director and Model. The most suitable position for him within the Supply department is Quartermaster, and that is a title he wears proudly.
    Prestoff has limited experience working with cyborgs, capable of some component replacement. However, due to an incident aboard [REDACTED], involving [REDACTED], he has been noted to suffer from PTSD triggerable by [EXPUNGED] and is thus not recommended as a good fit for any Science roles.
    It should be noted that Prestoff has minor experience within Security, however, due to an incident aboard [REDACTED], he prefers not to be part of the Security force.

    NOTABLE, USELESS UNEMPLOYABLE SKILLS:
    Prestoff is a noted author aboard [REDACTED], having published three books. "Romancing The Mime," "Robusting The Clown," and "How To Be The Second Best Miner, Ever."
    Owing to his experience dating [REDACTED] he is skilled at miming and more than able to understand most mimery. A limited ability to speak French has also been demonstrated, though he typically cannot form sentences any more coherent than "Je aime votre derriere."

    PERSONAL HISTORY:
    Prestoff was born on a space colony owned by the Free Trade Union, in orbit around Sol, the only child to a poor family. Maya and Cameron Prestoff, the parents, owned a bar, and lived on the upper floor of said bar. In hopes of providing live entertainment and thus attracting more business, Maya attempted stand-up comedy while Cameron participated in boxing.
    After suffering a brutal hit to the head, Cameron Prestoff's speech became severely impaired, unable to speak anything further than "Aim for the nose," repeatedly.
    Prestoff's parents suffered through poverty and debt, and to a certain extent, owed their lives to a team of legal experts headed by Damien Santiago, who unbeknownst to Preston, often do contracts for [EXPUNGED]. After their mysterious disappearance, this debt fell to Preston, and Santiago worked to ensure Prestoff's records were squeaky-clean enough for hire by NanoTrasen. As Prestoff is working at NanoTrasen, he is working on paying back his extensive debt, and has been noted to go as far as [EXPUNGED].

    LIKES:
    Hitting on women.
    The Supply department.
    Obnoxious, brightly colored hair.
    Long walks on the space beach.

    DISLIKES:
    Cyborgification.
    Lawyers.
    Onions.

    PERSONALITY TRAITS AND FINAL NOTES:
    Prestoff has been observed to be an "insufferable, womanizing space douchebag," with "an overinflated ego and stupid hair."
    With this in mind, however, it should be noted that Prestoff is an extreme people pleaser and cannot comprehend well the idea that people do not like him, and will go well out of his way to appear as a likable, charismatic individual.
    His womanizing tendencies have calmed down since his incident with the [EXPUNGED] of [REDACTED] aboard [REDACTED], in which [REDACTED] was [EXPUNGED], leaving Preston to suffer from [EXPUNGED], developing a drinking problem that led to multiple liver transplants and several counts of [EXPUNGED] as a direct result of [REDACTED] of [EXPUNGED]. [REDACTED] [EXPUNGED] [REDACTED] [REDACTED] with a ball gag [EXPUNGED] and flushed through [EXPUNGED].

    ..aaaaaand that about wraps up my lame special snowflake spessmen OC. Preston is terribly over-developed and woefully unrobust, and I'd personally slap the shit out of him if I met him buuuut hey. Here he is.
  2. Haha this bio is great, nice job.
  3. Psyentific

    Psyentific Well-Known Member

    "His pompadour is a brilliant, metallic blue color that bobs and weaves with his movements like a shadow-boxer perched atop his scalp"
    Just reading this makes me want to run my hands through my hair and strike a pose.
  4. TheJuicyFruit

    TheJuicyFruit Well-Known Member

    This is outstanding. Job well done.
  5. General_Battier

    General_Battier LS13 Admin

    Obadiah Mayland and NoFaceMan like this.

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