News Don Report Week #7

Discussion in 'Elite Dangerous' started by Obadiah Mayland, Jan 23, 2016.

  1. Obadiah Mayland

    Obadiah Mayland Well-Known Member

    Weekly Don Report

    DON NETWORK STOCKS SOAR!
    As of this Tuesday, Don Networks influence has increased by 6%. By a combination of good investments, expert planning, and the actions of their backing militia, Liberties Last Army, they blew other competition out of the water. The competition, however, was mostly the Independents of Don who lowered from their lofty 60% influence to 54%. This has not gone unnoticed by the Federation, and several allies of the Independents of Don have laid bounties for known pirates, or smugglers working for the Network. One of these allies includes the 53 Aquarii Alliance, who has vowed to assist in any matters ailing the Independents of Don as of this Wednesday.

    MYSTERIOUS LEFT-HANDED FAMILY MURDER!
    This week four members of the "Left Handed" family were pulled out of supercruise, looted, and killed. One survivor of the vicious attack, a man by the name of Bjorn, was interviewed this Saturday on what happened. He said "I know what zey want, it is dirty Right Handed scum. They envy my papa's Vodka, they can can never get enough. Well I tell them this, no Right Handed, or any other scum shall lay a hand on even a hair of Left Handed family from this point forward." Upon further inspection, the populace realized that the entire Left Handed family is composed of an extended line of Bjorns. This was first noted by the internal security force when they classified the wrong Bjorn as dead, and instead labeled Bjorns older sister (Bjorn) as deceased. This has slowed down investigation 10 fold.
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    NEW FAD SPRINGS TO LIFE: COBRA JUMPING
    Cobra Jumping.jpg
    This Tuesday two commanders by the names of CMDR Roy Blackwell and CMDR Spoffy triggered a craze among the youth of the Don known by some as "Cobra Jumping". Although any ship can be used, this adrenaline rush requires a multi-million dollar Surface Recon Vehicle, and a ship for it to jump off of on an atmopherless planet. While highly dangerous, the Independents of Don have not had enough time to see if there should be law enforcement set out against it. Only 3 recorded cases of injury or death have been officially reported thus far.
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